I Bring the Eyeliner

I never was, well, musical. Pretty voice but I never enjoyed singing.

My delivery was either cold or completely overemotional and lost. Singing was nerve-wracking. Choral stuff sometimes--I cried through most of the performance of Brahms’ Requiem.

Years of piano lessons, years of playing French Horn and I was just awful. I dated a bunch of musicians, but I always described myself as a “music appreciator.” Or a “really good audience.”

Microphones were worse. All of my years doing readings, I would push the mike out of the way and declaim in the same loud voice my much-quieter sister used to use to get me into trouble when we were kids, until my parents caught on.

So when my coworkers were having what more or less amounted to band night at a local bar, my first thought was that they wouldn’t get me near it.

I pretty much swore it, just until the moment Bob said to me, “Hey, you sing, right? Why don’t you sing with us? We’re just throwing a band together.”

And to my surprise, I heard myself saying “Yeah, sure, why not?”

Week before the show I was horribly flu-ly ill. Missed rehearsal--couldn’t have sung even if I had been able to get out of bed. I did an awful job of promoting it--was afraid to tell anyone until i knew if I’d be able to sing at all.

So: afraid of the mike, worried I won’t even make it through the song without coughing, hopped up on Advil Cold & Sinus. I played tambourine through most of the set--joking that i was only there cause being on stage gave me the best seat in the house. “Singing? I bring the eyeliner!”

Finally it was time for me to sing Coin-Operated Boy outside of my car. Without Amanda Palmer. In front of coworkers. Surprising numbers of them. With a BAND. A band I had never rehearsed with.

I have never had so much fun in my life. The feedback didn’t throw me--I just moved positions until it was fixed. The dropped bridge phrase? no problem. Hell, I even remembered all the words. In order!

What I miss most about not dating musicians is not having music in the house. Took me a long time to realize I could make my own.